Rest. It’s a nuanced topic that as racialized people we often don’t talk about. However,
I’d like to highlight this topic so we can take a closer look at it. You see, I know this topic
well from another perspective, the perspective of burnout. Here’s the thing though, it’s
not just me. Many of us shoulder heavy responsibilities and carry concerns about family
and friends, our racialized community, the work we do, the cultural organizations we
advocate for, the villages we’re a part of. Day in and day out we work, pushing past our
boundaries, saying yes to many things that are small, medium, and large. Some of
those things are really good, but the issue is that those things eventually add up. Before
we know it, there’s such a crushing burden on our shoulders both individually and
collectively. We feel the tension, the stress, the overwhelm, and still we press on. For
many of us, even sleep isn’t truly restful because our minds are filled with all of the
things that we still have to do, and all the ways we feel frustrated in this capitalistic
system.
In narrative therapy, we’re encouraged to externalize the problem, so let’s take a look at
the problem of burnout, and the importance of rest as an antidote for this worrying
concern. It is my hope that by taking some time to do this reflection and processing, we
will begin to resolve this issue for ourselves and take key steps towards breaking up
with burnout and creating a healthy rhythm of rest in our lives. To do this, let’s begin by
exploring our cultural and family background and the messages we have internalized
about rest. Let’s look at the impact of burnout on our nervous system, and let’s conclude
with some practical ways to affirm our intention to incorporate rest in our lives. It is my
hope that all people who identify as BIPOC will begin to unpack and process their
internalized feelings about rest, and even more importantly, that they begin to look for
key ways they’d like to shift their perspective on this matter.
A glimpse into our culture
In the New York Times bestseller book, Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto, the author
Tricia Hersey wrote,
“As a culture, we don’t know how to rest, and our understanding of rest has been
influenced by the toxicity of grind culture. We believe rest is a luxury, privilege,
and an extra treat we can give to ourselves after suffering from exhaustion and
sleep deprivation. Rest isn’t a luxury, but an absolute necessity if we’re going to
survive and thrive. Rest isn’t an afterthought, but a basic part of being human.
Rest is a divine right. Rest is a human right.” (p. 60).
Did you read that? Rest is a human right. I want you to pause and reflect on that
sentence. Do you believe that? Allow your mind to ponder that question and hold space
for whatever comes up for you. If rest were indeed one of your basic human rights, how
would that change things for you? How would you organize your life? What would you
do differently? What would you do the same? If you were to dismantle the “cult of
busyness” in your life, what would that look like?
Too often we accept things as they are and believe we can’t change them. We keep on
going until we’re feeling fatigued, we have trouble concentrating, we’re isolating
ourselves from others, struggling with our concentration, we’re feeling hopeless and
helpless, we’re feeling alone with the weight of the world pressing down on our
shoulders. Still we don’t deconstruct the busyness and burnout. Instead, we push
ourselves past our limits and are often surprised when our self-care strategies don’t
seem to replenish us. The thing is, we haven’t developed a healthy rhythm of rest that
can help to sustain us. Self-care becomes a substandard band-aid solution when our
body actually needs rest. We have no clue where to start and we don’t yet realize that
rest is not one size fits all solution. Each and every one of us has to do reconnaissance
work within our lives to figure out what we’ve learned about rest from our families,
communities, and culture etc., then we need to make a healthy shift for ourselves.
A legacy of rest
I love listening to stories of the people in my family. One story that my aunts tell is of my
grandmother. She would wake up well before dawn and get her kids ready for the day.
Then they would walk a far distance to a special bakery with a wood oven to purchase
fresh bread at wholesale prices. She would pile that bread into an extra large basket,
twist a long piece of cloth around her hand to make a Kata, place that rolled piece of
cloth on her head, and lift the heavy basket overladen with bread on top of it. Then my
grandmother would reach up into the basket, get a loaf and break it, and share it out to
her daughters as she walked them back to their village to begin the school day. After
dropping them off she would go to her makeshift kiosk, in the hot sun, and sell the rest
of the loaves of bread until they were gone. In addition to that work, my grandmother
worked tirelessly at a nearby stone quarry, and even did seasonal work on a farm. I tell
you all this, because many racialized people have women like my grandmother in their
history. Women who worked hard to make ends meet. The generational blessing in this,
is that we know how to work hard. The unfortunate legacy is that we have not been
taught how to rest.
The impact on our nervous systems
As racialized people in Western society, the inheritance of working hard, strike that,
working twice as hard, has had a detrimental impact on our nervous system. We have
been alternating most of our lives between a Sympathetic state and a Dorsal Vagal
state. Our autonomic nervous system spends a lot of time scanning for threats in our
environment, and as people of colour many of these threats are valid. We experience
microaggressions, overt forms of racism, covert forms of racism, attacks against
racialized bodies of people that we know, and we experience the vicarious trauma of
seeing people who look like us experiencing oppression. Even when we don’t
personally know racialized people experiencing oppression, we still collectively feel a
measure of their trauma and pain. With all of these threats in our environment, of course
our nervous systems keep experiencing an increased amount of overwhelm. When our
nervous system is so overwhelmed, how exactly do we rest?
We begin by recognizing the importance of resting. We choose to explore the messages
we’ve internalized about work and rest because those messages are impacting how we
operate on a daily basis. We begin by dismantling any tendencies we may have to do
too much. We take stock of our own capacity and choose to listen to our own body and
its limitations.
Please get to know your nervous system, and begin to do what works best for you. The
more you can rest, the more you’ll be able to stay in your window of tolerance. The
more you rest, the more regulated you will be. The more you rest, The more you’ll be
able to access your prefrontal cortex, your thinking brain, and make decisions and
choices for yourself that are the healthiest for you long-term. Your rest is important. I am
saying this to you, and I am saying this to me. I’m saying this to all of us racialized
people, because we have been through a lot individually and collectively. We need to
learn how to rest.
Some helpful questions from Hersey’s Rest is Resistance include:
Do I really know what rest feels like?
Do I have a model or guide for what it feels like to be rested while living inside a capitalist system?
What would it feel like to be consistently rested?
What does exhaustion look like for me?
Am I navigating the world from a constant state of exhaustion?
Who was I before the terror of the toxic systems?
Who do I want to be?
What have you been told about your worth and existence?
How do you make space to transcend the confines of a system that prays to the call of “profit over people”?
One last thought! As you begin to deconstruct and dismantle the role and impact of
busyness and burnout in your life, you may begin to feel some shame or guilt that you’re
not doing as much as you used to do, or as much as you perceive others as doing.
Please compassionately hold space for those parts of you. If shame and guilt had a
voice, what would they say, how would they honestly feel about you allowing yourself to
rest? Just listen. You may learn some important information about your values, hopes,
dreams, or history. Breathe through any discomfort that may come up. Allow a deeper
understanding to unfold, and be grateful for the moment of self-reflection. From this
place of rumination, I hope you’ll be able to allow yourself to begin to rest. As I close this
post, I wanted to share twelve simple affirmations that could be helpful to you if you
decide to explore the benefits of rest in your life.
12 Affirmations of Rest for the Racialized Body and Soul
I am worthy of rest.
It is my human right to rest.
I can define what rest looks like for me.
I am responsible for my well-being and can choose to rest.
I am allowed the time and space to figure out how to rest in the best way for me.
I have the power to change my narrative when it comes to rest.
I choose to prioritize my rest and healing.
I can honour the boundaries I place around my rest.
I am grateful for the rest I experience.
I’m excited to see what a rested version of me can do.
Today is a good day to find some time to rest.
I deserve to rest.
Feel free to print out this pdf of the 12 Affirmations of Rest for the Racialized Body and
Soul, [link: https://bit.ly/4dMhn05], so you can access it anytime you need it.
Hey you! Try and get some rest.
Citation:
Hersey, T. (2022). Rest is resistance: A Manifesto. (First edition.). Little, Brown Spark.
About the Author:
Charlene Lekx, MDiv, MEd, RP (Qualifying) is the owner of Oak and Stream Psychotherapy Clinic. In addition to psychotherapy, she is a Christian life coach, and podcaster. Her podcast, The Acorn, provides bite-sized psychoeducation under 10-minutes long, and is geared to the life-long learner who is interested in self-help and personal growth.
Charlene specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families break
inter-generational cycles and begin to heal and thrive. She has worked in various
settings including community outreach and group private practice. A major focus in her work has been to explore the concept of self-leadership within relationships. She is trained in EFT, Gottman, Brainspotting, Flash, and she is IFS informed. Charlene is certified in EMDR, and collaborates with other therapists to provide Adjunct EMDR therapy.
Charlene comes from a long line of storytellers, so it’s not surprising that she is
passionate about helping people better understand their story and its current impact in
their lives. She loves listening to audiobooks, traveling, eating delicious food, and
watching funny movies and television shows with her family. As a life-long learner, she
is still exploring how to learn, grow, and heal in transformative and sustainable ways
and is intentional about teaching others to do the same.
“Better can begin today” - Charlene Lekx
Charlene provides virtual psychotherapy throughout the province of Ontario. You can
find her at Oak and Stream Psychotherapy Clinic:
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